Curious case of Pastor Dale Armstrong
How American Protestants enjoy life in Ukraine while preaching for asceticism
It was late 2013. Kyiv was already distraught by the events of the second Maidan, but neither occupation of Crimea nor pro-Russian insurgency happened yet.
By that time I had about five years of experience in fruitless searching for sponsors who might fund me a modeling agency. That's why I entered politics in the first place. To become a mix of Karl Lagerfeld and Leon Trotsky.
American gentleman, whom I knew as Daniel Porter from VK social network, decided that after nearly a year of virtual correspondence it's time to meet in person. So I bought a train ticket and went to the capital from my native Kharkiv.
“Daniel” was very frank about what kind of expectations he had about our possible modeling agency. He boasted his successful promiscuous sexual life and shared pictures of exploits, one of which you can see below. Promised support of Cypriot ambassador and Philadelphia businessmen. His lack of interest in the professional side of things troubled me from the very beginning, as well as not quite the model tier of his girls, but as a grown-up person, I knew that this line of work is rarely done without the shady stuff. Although we chatted up quite a few women in the cafes of central Kyiv during my 3-day stay at his apartment, we failed to get laid. Was it because of a discrepancy between the vibes of us two: his rich cockiness vs my proletarian poverty, or was he that inept as a playboy when not relying on money is a mystery left unsolved.
Time went by and “Daniel” was content with his Ukrainian way of life: having threesomes with 7/10 “Beckies” at his apartment. No sign of funding he promised me ever materialized. War began, Minsk agreements were signed, LGBT lobby increased financial support for its local NGOs.
In 2018 our hero suddenly became interested in harming the interests of Chinese businesses in Ukraine. Knowing about my long friendship with world-famous hacker Andrew “Weev” Auernheimer, who lived in Kharkiv at the time, he asked me to get them two in touch, which I did. Andrew declined his offer to get him databases of Chinese companies who work in Ukraine while breaching American anti-Russian sanctions in some way, citing a lack of necessary skills.
Still, as a sort of gratitude for my connection-making capabilities, “Daniel” invited me to Kyiv once again, to re-assess the viability of the modeling agency. The talk didn’t go smoothly, as his head was in different clouds. He left the country within a couple of weeks after the death of Jeffrey Epstein. His abandoned Ukrainian phone number, by a pure coincidence of course, has fallen into a hands of Chinese woman who spoke perfect English, a rare feat for Chinese woman to have. I called her a couple of times and she denied knowing about the guy.
In 2020 he returned in an apparent attempt to present himself as a local conservative influencer, with backing of some Republican Senators, Turchynov-Avakov, Svoboda’s former MP Oleksandr Bryhynets. He met with prominent journalist Christopher Miller and got interesting, if a somewhat unfavorable, article about himself on BuzzFeed: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/christopherm51/marie-yovanovitch-ukraine-mike-pompeo-dale-armstrong (Backup: https://archive.is/PGh5i).
Recognizing his face after reading this article I was amazed by the duplicity and cowardice of the guy. Hiding true name and identity for nearly a decade with a fellow you called friend! In retrospect I also find it hilarious that actual Pastor confessed me his numerous sins for years, as if he recognized me as a Priest of different God.
Neglecting promises and promoting values you don’t really believe in can’t end in triumph, no matter how many high level connections you got. I did not hesitate sharing my experience with Miller, even if, in a blatant intimidation attempt, a National Guard (not civilian police, but a specialized task force for missions of national importance) van was parked precisely under my window for three straight days while I was doing so. Although Chris became extremely interested and assured me that my story will be published, apparently he was overruled by senior editors.
After getting the word about our talk, Mr. Armstrong deleted both his Twitter and Instagram accounts. His Facebook, the safest and blandest form of his self-expression, still remains.
You wouldn't believe this guys family background. The name Armstrong is synonymous with the Worldwide Church of God. This could easily be the great-grandson of the founder. An incredible story of power, sex, money, abuse and lies.